should i stay or should i go - as the song will have it.

I’ve been wondering whether I will ever return to the US.

So far the ‘nays’ seem to have it. (Multiple personality disorder, you understand. Each one gets a vote.)

And that feels strange. I mean, I’m an American by choice. And up until very recently that was a choice for which I was, maybe still am, unapologetic. I chose to be an American because I admire and respect the Constitution on which the country is founded. I liked, like, the freedom of choice and independent thought, and to a degree action, that Constitution guarantees. I most particularly liked, like, the fact that those who govern were, (are?), held accountable for their actions. In fact, that was the reason why George Washington, the first, and this is telling, reluctant leader of the nation was adamant in not accepting the throne that was offered to him after his victory over the Royal Forces. Preferring instead, a time bound role for the business of being the Big Cheese.

But, all that seems to have changed.

Dubya, Hunter Dick, and their baronial coterie, using 9/11 as the excuse seem to have transformed what was once a place where humanity in all its diversity was celebrated and honored. God, and whatever one’s relationship with Him/Her/It, was deemed to be private business. The assumption seemed to be that He/She/It had important things to deal with; music of the spheres; orbital pathways of comets; housing and transportation for those ascending to their reward; writ petitions from the ones in purgatory or the Other Place; the occasional cleansing fire and flood; that sort of thing. The human condition, it seemed to have been decided, was best left to humans, the animals with the corpus callosum. He/She/It laid down some basic conditions, most of which could be boiled down to the injunction to be good to each other, in particular, and Life, in general. Anything beyond that, the hows, the whats, and the wherefores, the Founders believed was too fiddly for Him/Her/It to bother about. Good sense and governance, with an appropriate measure of checks and balances, became the hallmark of the new nation.

Then 9/11 happened. Pretty close to 4,000 innocents, from all over the world lost their lives because some horny old guy heard from Him. No question about the gender here.

As soon as it was safe to do so, Texas George showed up at ground zero and declared that he too had heard from Him. And misquoting the Old Testament declared that He had told him that not only was he to extract a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye, but that he was also cleared for collateral damage as long as he apologized for it.

The Department of Homeland Security was born and has since abrogated, by the reports I hear from the US, all those ideals that lead to my choosing to be a citizen of the United States of America. God, whose voice seems to be All-Terrible, (and male), seems to be taking a more direct part in the proceedings. Through spokespersons, mostly from the Republican Party, God seems to be deciding and directing the minutiae of the human condition, the moralities of Man. (The Democrats Party seem to be afraid to come right out and ask, "God who?") While He is directing the Republican agen... I beg your pardon, Agenda. The Spheres, it seems, are just going to have to manage on their own.

Which leaves me, an expatriate American in the land of his birth, India, wondering what to do.

I could, if I am willing to face the bureaucracy of it all, relinquish my adopted citizenship and reapply for my birth right, but...

But...

The thing is, while I see no major differences in the Constitutions of the United States of India (a much to be hoped for name) and the United States of America, I also see no differences in the holy hued Governance of the two. God, it seems, is in direct communication with too many of India’s BJP Rulers. Too much religious right righteousness passing itself of as governance  I hear the God whose voice is All-Terrible intonations and accents, thunder and lightning, in their pronouncements on the moralities of living in India. Freedom of Choice and Freedom of Thought seem to me to be under as much threat here as there. In fact, the whole acceptance of hinduism as a Religion annoys me. As a philosophy, hinduism is bitchin', and i wouldn't at all mind if India's governance was based on it. Based on Religion? That frightens me.
Sigh 

Some days i wake up.

Which now that i see it in words, is, quite often, a pleasant surprise. Although, some days, not so pleasant. 

I'm embroiled in a legal issue with a bank. So far the bank is winning, with a little help from the Indian system of jurisprudence.

Whatever the Courts of India are, they are not a forum for the People in which they can air their grievances and expect a speedy resolution from an impartial court. The Court's assumption seems to be that if an individual is present before it, and has a beef against an Institution, e.g. a bank, then it is obvious that the individual is unaware of the sanctity of the Institution, and needs to be educated.

The last time i was talked down to from such a large height was when i was on the carpet in the headmaster's office at the boarding school i attended. And just thinking about it in rational terms makes me realize how relative reason is.

I think i'd much rather ruminate on kindness that costs a lot.

See, i've been watching my very SoCal friend deal with his very rural Andhra housekeeper's 5 year old adorable daughter. That 'adorable' part is as reported by my other desi friends. I'm afraid i'm more Spock-like when it comes to that sort of thing. But back to my SoCal friend, let's call him Ian, for no particular reason.

Now, i should make clear that, uh, Ian - i just figured out why Ian. much easier to type. - Ian, is a good man with children of his own and grandchildren in the offing. More than that he is, i believe, a genuinely kind man just chock full of good intentions. He manifests those qualities in his relationship with young Veena. He has paid for school/day care. He has clothed her and paid for her medical expenses when they occur. He gives her free run of his house and is quite willing to be interrupted by her in pretty much anything that he might be doing. Hell, he carries her home after she has fallen asleep watching the shows that she wants to watch. He also indulges himself by watching the pleasure with which the child responds to his unexpected gifts of knick-knacks, toys, and outfit matching accessories. Not to mention exotic fruits and candies. For exotic read, expensive. He also has a hearing problem that deafens him to the high pitched whine with which children, especially Indian children, have learned to manipulate their laboring elders who sometimes respond in the traditional fashion of parents, especially rural Andhra parents. Namely threats of incredible violence enhanced by sound effects and emotive body language. 

Now, Ian, when he sees that, and in his cannot-speak-the-language-so-let-me-shout-in-english, ,SoCal way of doing things tries to explain to Nagu, the mother, the pedamma actually, that violence breeds fear and not respect. Which, of course, frightens Nagu, what with Ian being the ostensibly angry Fount of Fortune and a generous paycheck and all. Veena is of course witness to that fear and in her understandable childishness uses it.

I don't think Ian has considered what the affect of his visa dependent presence, and predictable departure, (among other things, Ian is not a young, fit man), is having on that family dynamic.

And no, i cannot tell him. Ian does not value my opinion.