Navratri and Love Jihad

Hinduism^R-the Religion,[as differentiated from hinduism_p-the philosophy], is saying, and doing, some ugly things.

For starters, Hinduism^R, is starting to show signs of becoming, Official.

Hinduism^R has begun to wa… stride the corridors of power. Law makers and administrators are making laws and rules that have their rationale in the religiously held belief that Majority makes Right; which makes the minority Wrong and in need of corrective measures. Human rights are being viewed through saffron tinted lens and are beginning to be found irrelevant to the cause of making India a Hindu^R nation. Which is so far away from hinduism_p (a philosophy that says, in short – Think, and you’ll see), that given the curvature of space/time, it is meeting Hinduism^R (a faith that says, at length - Believe and We’ll tell you what you are seeing), from the other side. Given the muscular aggression of Hinduism^R and the essential live and let live attitudes of hinduism_p, things are starting to bode.

Let me illustrate.

Word is that religious right-wingers, some in elected office, have ordered organizers of the Navratri (a nine night acknowledgment of Goddess Power) celebrations, to keep Muslim men out of venues that hold the Garba dances Garba dancing, for those of you who might be wondering, is a folk tradition involving energetic graceful choreography to driving rhythms, for the most part, although not exclusively, performed by young women. The edict, which in some places flaunts the imprimatur of Official Elected Satraps [OES], is the Saffron Satraps’ [SS], [talk about synergy], counter strategy to their belief that Islam^R has initiated a Love Jihad as part of their war against Hinduism^R. It seems Islam^R has tasked Muslim men with seducing Hindu^R women into marriage, conversion and Muslim baby production. The Garba dances, it seems, were to be targets of opportunity for the love jihadists, what with lithe bodies gyrating to driving rhythms and all.

And there you have it, a celebration of woman power; a decidedly hindu_p concept co-opted by the self serving paranoia of Hinduism^R.

Not that this comes as a surprise. Most, if not all, certainly all the so called Major Religions, take what start out as simple, graceful, caring philosophies, and distort them into grotesque self serving mechanisms of power; the original intent of amicable social contract and mediated compromise lost in the deluge of bombastic claims of salvation and truth; faith in higher power morphs into veneration of power.

The weird thing is that that some Islamist jihadists are going to think that a good plan and are, even as we speak, acquiring Hindu credentials and recharging their cell phone cameras.

I despair.

Religion in Governance

Religion and faith based governance, in a democracy, wow.

I don’t know why the oxymoronic quality of that doesn’t strike more folks, especially to the folks who vote saffron, skull cap, cross, what have you.

No, that’s not true, I do know why. They just haven’t thought about it. They cannot have. No thoughtful examination of the concept will fail to point to the contradiction of including “… because HE/SHE/IT says so” in a, of the people, by the people, for the people, system of the governance. Religion, as far as I can see, doesn’t allow for a whole lot of yeah-but-we’ve-been-thinking from their congregations. Rules is rules, they thunder, (hey, religion doesn’t have to be grammatical, or even coherent, come to that), from pulpits. It is not for you, you imperfect worm, they continue, to question the Word. Yours is to do or die. And we, the anointed voices of HE/SHE/IT, will tell you what to do, when to do it, and more often than not, how to do it, and no back-talk.

And there you have it.

Back-talk is exactly what makes a democracy, well, democratic. Back-talk, adversarial points of view, out-of-the-box thinking, and yes, even fringe opinions, are all part of the mix in the governance of as varied a lot of beings as we citizens; our individual self interests, corners rounded off by the compromises necessary for the existence of a collective well being, subsumed into the greater good, each of those corners discussed, deliberated, and only then fit into the whole.  Arguing with the power structure is what democracy is all about. Not a lot of that in the practice of religion which is given to edicts, commandments, and holy writ, a top down theory of governance. Which puts paid to any impulse to check with the People to see what they think about, oh, let’s say, killing in the name of the God-whose-Voice-is-all-Terrible. Nope, no consultation, no focus groups, no referenda, and most certainly, no back talk.

 That this, faith based governance, is happening here in India, home of lower case hinduism, the philosophy, is particularly galling. Saffron clad satraps have bullied their way into the halls of governance. It should be noted here that Saffron has become the battle color for upper case Hinduism, now an Official Religion, replete with rules, regulations, and intolerant righteousness. Pontificating from their tax exempt pulpits the Saffron Sages (SS) have been able to parlay their quite often irrational interpretations of the tenets of hinduism(lc) into the right and the power to impose on the rest of us their version of a pure State. Beef, they orate, and the eating of the same is antithetical to the dictates of Our One True God(s) and any Hindu who thinks otherwise is apostate. One such SS politician has gone on record as saying that cattle abattoirs are the source of Islamic Jihadists funding. Or so she believes and the fact that she is wearing Saffron when she goes to the office, well, that says it all, doesn’t it?  

I have no idea on how to deal with any of this. Religion and Faith have taken the place of rational discourse, world over. And all i can think to do is ... Holy Smoke.

What an idea, sirji.

47 Virgins

So, I got to thinking about the cannon fodder Caliph Whacko al-Insani calls to his banner. More specifically, I got to examining the blandishments offered to his foot soldiers. Especially the bit about the 47 virgins the young men, (which begs the question, what is on offer to the young women strapping on suicide vests and such? doesn’t it?), are promised on dying in holy battle. As a result the aged Uncle Undertoad in me is demanding his right to an opinion.

So, listen up, all you testosterone laden fighters for Truth, Justice and the Caliph’s way, you guys need to start thinking about the specifics of your promised paradise.

Take this business of paradise being perfect. That does have the implication that, upon entry you are somehow shed of your imperfections, the ones that go into making you. Oh you know which ones I mean – there’s the nose pick and thoughtful evaluation that you do when you think you are alone but your friends, the close chaddhi buddies (literal–underwear), (draw your own inferences), know better than to shake your hand till they have seen you wash; than there’s your unfortunate, and ill-controlled, lactose intolerance and the concomitant laundry issues. I could go on, but I’m pretty sure you know what I mean, all those little quirks and twitches that your mother loved and wouldn’t change for, well, paradise. Now, either those are stripped from you, without your say so, leaving you with nothing that you could call personality and you are granted entry into an amorphous undifferentiated mass of perfect, or, you are on parole and are enjoined to watch your every quirk and twitch, which is not going to be easy what with the All-Seeing being so close and all. Perfection is well worth striving for but I am not at all sure it is that much fun when you get there.

And now to the business of the promised 47 virgins and the implications thereof, guys, you need to pay attention here. Mine is the voice of long but not necessarily frequent experience and I have learned a couple of things along the way and you may want to consider them.

Virgins, in any endeavor, require a tremendous amount of patience and self control. Qualities which, if you are honest with yourself, you will admit, are not your strong points.   You, judging by the net videos, want to be out there doing. Slow, step by persuasive steps towards your vision of paradise and bliss don’t seem to be part of your skill set, unfortunately. I say unfortunately because, in dealing with virgins, soft and, (dare I say it), seductive, steps are the order of the day. After all, the virgin is taking a big step in her, (presumably – I don’t judge), life. There is very little pleasure, or even comfort, in forcing the issue. Force, as you no doubt are aware, leads to pain which in the case of virgins inevitably leads to acrimony and in extreme cases revenge and is considered by one and all as imperfect; which means that your tenure in paradise could come to an abrupt end. Of course, not all of the virgins will require force, some may merely be quiescent, non responsive, empty rag dolls who have to be told what to do and when; which is about as much fun as your hand used to be. Believe me, you don’t want to hear her say – hurry up and let me know when you are done, I need to wash my hair.

Going through that 47 times? Guys, that’s just plain masochism.