Ian and Nagu discuss jogging

So, here I am. An interpreter. A conduit between, a cold, not to say Scandinavian (in spite of the truth of it), North urban First World sensibility, and, the hot, the sun baked hot, of a Central Andhra rural Emerging World sense.

The issue at hand – The amount of sense it makes, (or not), to be taking a constitutional jog at 2:00 pm of a sunny B’luru afternoon.

Simple translation is not going to do it. Entire fields of culture, seasons, Vitamin D (production of), and lengths of day versus night, have to be considered, summarized, collated, and then translated, if peace is to return.

Nagu – (in Telugu and oodles of body language) - “What sir, why do you want to run now? Wait. The sun will be setting in a little time. Then you go running. It will be better.”

Ian - (in exaggerated English and stiff mostly inefficient – the man is no actor – body language) – “But the sun is out. Nice and bright. Work up a sweat. Soak in some sun. Warm up these bones of mine.” (I was worried for a bit, but then he chose his ulna to illustrate his words.)

This is what each heard.

Ian – Rising pitch whine with strangely soothing undertones. Maternal persuasion. Calm reason. Resolution and closure.

Nagu – Flat expostulations given unnecessarily loudly, accompanied by some Kathakalli styled dance movements which look silly when done by an old white guy.

This is what each meant to say.

Nagu – “Are you crazy? It’s two o’clock in the afternoon. That sun is going to kill you. Act your age. Who is going to look after you if you fall sick. Go running in this sun and you are going to get ill. Yes you are. Wait and see. Then who is going to have to look after you? Me. That’s who. As if I don’t have enough to do. I have three other houses to clean. And those houses – appah, you don’t even want to know about them. Dirty? Sometimes I feel like taking a bath when I’m done. But who has time for that? I have enough to do. No. The sun will be lower in a little while. Won’t be as strong. Go then. Maybe that way the only thing that will happen is that you’ll fall and it won’t be so bad. I’ve seen you run. You aren’t moving that fast.”

Ian – “But the sun is out. Nice and bright. Work up a sweat. Soak in some sun. Warm up these bones of mine.

See what I mean?

Sounds like a job for Intermediary Man.

Excuse me, I have to find a phone booth.