How to be Indian

I’ve been doing the BJP, the Sangh Parivar, The RSS, and the VHP, the entire saffron hued crew, an injustice. I mean, there I was thinking that Conservative India, ConIndia, (for brevity), (I swear), didn’t care about the likes of me and my fellow travelers, oh, call us Modern India, (Mo’India), ( ‘cuz... you know).

Turns out They, ConIndia, care so much about me, and mine, that they have gone to the trouble of codifying the3 millennia of human experience and curiosity that is the heritage of this sub-continent into sound-bite capsules of the rules of How To Be Indian; a soon-to-be Constitutional Amendment. Wasn’t that thought...consid... nice, there, that’s the ticket, wasn’t that nice of them? I mean, that’s a whole lot of pondering and cogitating, a whole lot of mustache sucking, logic bending, and thought mastication. Okay, not much ratiocinating, but hey, who needs logic when near divinity is sufficient to recognize the truth that is so evident.   Although, and I have this on good authority, (it came in a Saffron envelope and on trident water marked stationary, snail mail, of course), that the near divinity business is being re-assessed at the highest level and in close consultation with the Divine (in camera, no minutes). We can, I’m informed, expect a pronouncement on a cabinet re-shuffle that may reassign hitherto Divine capabilities, any day now.  I am further informed that although the Rules suggest near divinity to all life forms, it has been Decided that Some are more near than others, and that they, ConIndia, number among themselves Very High Persons who can be presumed to be adjacent to the Divine Spirit (DS) and hence unquestionable. The Official Notification ends with the, I’m assuming rhetorical, question, asking if we, Mo’India, cannot trust said VHPs, well then what would be the point?

I’m assuming the question is rhetorical because ConIndia is on record as not liking it, at all, when their, I beg pardon, Their, pronouncements are, um, wondered about. They get quite miffed and start breathing heavily; hot air emanates from Their Olympian, just-across-the-street-from-The-Divine-Abode nostrils and is a major contributing factor to global warming.  Hence my assumption – a small, one might even say servile, attempt to reduce my carbon foot print; and not, in any way, an attempt to criticize the VHP or Their raison d’être.

I mean, look what happened when Ms. De, a columnist and commentator, used her allotment of 140 characters to question the validity of a ConIndia propagated ordinance in the State of Maharashtra. This ConIndia ruled state does so in partnership with the Shiv Sena, Cultural Guardians and particularly close neighbors to the Divine Abode, who took umbrage at an electronic remark made by the unabashedly opinionated Ms. De’s that could, if one were terminally Sensitive, construed to be an insult. Said umbrage led to heavy breathing in front of Ms. De’s thankfully fortified abode, (n.b. lc). The resultant localized rise in atmospheric pressure(s) led to documented and Officially Noted unseasonable, crop damaging, rains and hail in parts of India that thought the Shiv Sena were being a little silly. If that wasn’t a Divine warning, what was it? Needless to say any caviling about ConIndia interpretations of how to be Indian have ceased and any laws and regulations promulgated on those interpretations stand and no back talk.

Just sayin’.

The Saffron March

Cassandra… no, wait, was it Cassandra? You know, the lady who warned folks of ill times and was reviled and jeered at for her troubles. Well, if it wasn’t she, it ought to have been, her name has the proper sibilance. Anyway, I think I hear her, but, I’m not jeering, ‘cuz, much as I don’t want to, I’m beginning to see what she is going on about here in, but not limited to, India. Indeed not.

But…

The worldwide [I mean, check out the state of affairs in the putatively non-religious Russia; the 12 Labors of Hercules (beta), Vladimir Putin and his heroic battle against the non-believers as visualized by State commissioned Art. And then there is all too obvious ISIL, the US Supreme Court decision that redefined ‘separation of Church and State’ not to mention North Kores], where was I? Oh yes, the worldwide trend of religion as governance, and the deification of politicians, is making itself more and more visible in the governance of India and that is a crying shame. And that, as Cassandra will have it, bodes for those who have the seeing of it..

Boding is not good. It darkens the vision and saps the spirit. Tomorrow becomes a bogey in the intervening night and can blind the senses to possibilities. Perceptions become selective and it becomes more and more difficult to remember that India is a young vibrant construct that has been more successful in this business of democracy and people power than have any of her contemporaneous bits and pieces of crumbled Empire

India has in 6 and a little bit decades reached a degree of social consciousness it has taken the US two centuries to realize. Largely, I think, because of a long tradition, culture, of tolerance and respect of difference, known as hinduism, the philosophy [h_p].

But…

The same tradition, culture, and philosophy, is being elevated to the upper case status of Hinduism, the Religion [H^R]. As Cassandra is pointing out, H^R is planting its pennons in the halls of power and governance. Saffron is becoming the Office wear of a number, an influential number, of India’s law makers. There are places in India where history is being re-formed into interpretations that suit the purposes of Faith and Belief, and included in school curricula.Local ordinances against hurt religious sentiments are being,  enforced, sometimes forcibly. Zealots, armed with cudgels and bricks, can enforce faith based rules and moralities with impunity and too often immunity. Religion based gerrymandering of the electorate is a fact of the politics of gover…

Wait one second. I’ve been through this once before. Let’s see, when was that? Oh yes, I recall, Ronald Reagan’s triumphant march, Crusader colors, symbols, justifications, and all. Which begat Dubya, a Right wing Supreme Court, the Republican Senate and Dick Cheney. And we can see the result of all of that, live, [you should pardon the expression], and bloody color  on CNN International any hour of the day or night.

I wonder if Cassandra would be willing to join me in a bottle of retsina.

The Indian Body Politic [Paradise by the Dashboard Light

Thinking about how to make India a better place while listening to Meatloaf's, Paradise by the Dashboard Light, the long version, adds an interesting tinge to one's thoughts.

There is much in Indian politics that mirrors the desperate groping towards the paradise of the song; the same urgent pleas for, uh, closeness from the desperate suitor; the same equally urgent demands for commitment from the sought.

Seekers of office promise heavenly delights if only the electorate will allow them into the driver’s seat, as it were. Paradise, the Pols aver, is just a touch away. Okay, they admit, in honeyed tones, there may have to be a bit of fiddling around on the way to that paradise, but, it’s all good, everybody is going to go home satisfied. Will it be forever? The harmonic, if slightly plaintive, voice of the body rises in counterpoint. The suitors ignore the question, pressing suit with renewed insistence and ardor. But is this going last, signs of fatigue showing in the harmonics?  The body starts to relax into submission, the desire to be loved and cared for leaking into the narrative. Sensing victory assurances are quick, double timed, the tempo rising with each promise of good days. With one last attempt at maintaining some semblance of self respect, an answer is insisted upon. Let me sleep on it, counters Meatloaf, showing remarkable agility for a being large enough to have its own satellites. Eventually, inevitably, sadly, emotion prevails over reason and the suit is consummated, 

Interestingly, to me at least, the satisfied sounds at the end of the song are all from Meatloaf, her defeated insistence for an answer drowned by his triumphant conclusion