Sunday, November 16, 2014

The Stench of Saffron

Should I stay or should I go?
The Clash asked that, rhythm and rhyming the approach-avoidance syndrome, backing it with a driving incessant beat, and…leaving the question unanswered, now that I think about it; which doesn’t help me a lot, or any.
See, the thing is, I’ve remained in India for the past decade and half in highly addictive expat comforts. This in spite of the best efforts of the Foreigners Regulation and Registration Office and its bureaucratically brilliant systems for making life just that little bit more pebble-in-the-shoe-ish. I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, you take bureau… I beg your pardon, Bureaucracy, which India has had for a lot longer than most other places, and you clothe it in the Eton-Harrow-OxBridge pomposities that pass for governance and administration, and what you get is the FRRO, and their ability to trigger ‘screw it, what’s the travel agent’s e-address, sorts of thoughts and impulses. But, I digress.
The FRRO is not the reason I’ve bookmarked Lonely Planet and know where my passport and traveling pants are. [Aren’t cargos just the absolute tits?]  For the first time in 15 years I’m starting to get uncomfortable with the smell of teen spirit. An appreciable, increasingly aggressive, portion of India’s youth, the generation that Narendra ‘BigMo’ Modi has so assiduously wooed and won, have embraced the concept of Indian National Cultural Values (INCV) (All concepts in India are labeled and acronym-ed. It’s a cultural thing) and are looking to impose the same on the rest of India. As an example let me cite the attempt by some of Young Modern India (YoMo’In) (concept again) to exercise their perfectly reasonable right to show affection, one for the other, in public and with due regard for the decencies necessary. Towards this end a ‘Kiss-in’ was organized and announced. This did not meet with the approval of the Religious Right (RR) (also a concept), who, in short order deployed their youth wing. There are altogether too many upper case concepts of that wing for me to list. Suffice it to say that they are manifold and are, without exception, large, testosterone driven and ready to rumble. Pumped with ideology, righteous anger, and, I suspect but cannot prove, steroids, these myrmidons of INCV were able to intimidate the local police into backing their play in preventing the Kiss-in from happening. The cops must have figured that worst YoMo’In could do was kiss them in protest while the RR youth wing was armed, but I’m guessing.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that things have reached the twin lightning insignia stage but one gets the feeling that saffron shirts and khaki shorts are being bulk ordered and stockpiled. Certainly saffron is starting to replace the admittedly condescending Congress white in the halls and seats of power, bringing with it the stench of faith based governance and reminding me of the reasons I left home, hearth, and health insurance to remain in India. But now…

I wonder if the FRRO in Vietnam has better manners.

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